What is BDSM: Types, Tips and Benefits
This popular BDSM acronym comes to mind with a visual of leather clothing, spanking products and extreme sex visuals, BDSM is all that and much more. BDSM stands for Bondage, Domination/Submission, Sadism, and Masochism and bondage practitioners and lovers are part of a community where people understand the core, ethics, precautions, equipment, etc about the art of sex with BDSM. So let’s uncover what is bondage?
BDSM is an extremely intimate form of sex and participants need to have a certain level of connection to successfully enjoy bondage play together. Mutual respect, consensual sex, role-playing and safety are the base on which BDSM is formed and played as well. There are various types of Bondage activities couples can indulge in ranging from soft bondage (which is simply an introduction to experimenting with something remotely restrained) to advance bondage role-play sessions.
BDSM is a lifestyle and not something one can indulge in on and off, well you could but once you dive into bondage, it defines the sexual relationships. The biggest benefit of BDSM is that it brings people closer; the intimacy and trust required in BDSM are known to strengthen the bond between couples.
What Is Bondage?
The art of bondage in the simplest terms can be compared to a friendly ‘Trust fall’, a trust fall is practiced among co-players as a team-building activity or played as a game to show and share the concept of Trust. BDSM participants certainly have a wilder, and sexier approach to bondage with restraints, floggers and whips. Most of the BDSM players like to perform a dominant or submissive role to experience intimate sex.
Why BDSM is Very Popular?
If you’re a beginner looking to explore this art of bondage or simply want to understand what makes it so popular. Here are some guidelines to help you understand in simple terms what bondage stands for?
- While BDSM stands for different things to different people depending upon their sexual preference and desires. This community is rather disciplined when it comes to rules, play, and top of all is safety. Couples can choose and switch between sadism, machoism, dominance, submission, bondage or discipline once the ground rules have been set by both.
- This is the only form of sex where one does not only dive into the act but involves themselves mentally and emotionally as well. Bondage is not only about the cliché harnesses and mouth gags but communicating with a partner to know about what and how much can be enduring.
- Irrespective of a person’s personality or nature the desire to either be submissive or dominant is a sexual preference. Many times BDSM participants behind closed doors are very different and like to play certain roles to fulfill their fantasies.
- The scenes require a lot of hard work and cannot just be a spur to the sexual encounter. The sexy clothing, equipment, activity, etc needs to be sorted out before plunging into the act.
- The vast variety of BDSM sex toys, accessories, and BDSM clothing available at bondage shops to caters everyone from beginners to experts. While bondage for beginners may include rope, tape and gags along with fetish wear and the experienced BDSM players would enjoy handcuffs, body cuffs, bed restraints, harness and more alongside corsets and bodysuits.
What are Different BDSM Types?
Now that you’ve understood what is bondage, it’s ideas depend on sexual preference or is defined by one’s likes and dislikes. There are some commonly known types that bondage lovers enjoy.
Bondage & Discipline
The art of restraints takes away power from one and gives much power to the other depending upon what role is the person playing. This type is widely known, practiced and loved. The discipline that bondage brings into the sex play is always well thought off before indulging. It is also discussed with the submissive and dominant to know about the limitations one may have or the extent one might want to go with restraint toys and equipment. The most popular are bondage ties with a large variety of tape, ropes and cuffs available to restrain a partner.
Dom & Sub Relationship
The dominant and submissive relationship is again a very common BDSM type, primarily followed by almost all participants of this community. The need/want to feel like the top or bottom defines the entirety of the sexual relationship. This usually comes in the picture only with those people who have the utmost trust in their partners, the emotional connection is just as important as the physical one in the DOM/SUB relationship. While from the outside look, it may seem like a one-sided affair that is far from the truth. People choose this lifestyle because it phrases them as a dom enjoys the power play as much as the sub enjoys being ordered.
Sadism & Masochism
This is a more extreme BDSM type involving the love of inflicting and receiving pain during the act of sex. Like-minded partners come together to indulge in sadism and masochism only with consent from both parties. The sweet sexual release that the couple encounters with pain products like a spanking paddle, flogger, clamps or a chastity device meet their fantasies and desires.
What are the Various BDSM Techniques?
This is going to be a fun read, knowing about BDSM and indulging in some light bondage now and then can easily spruce up any relationship. Some techniques to help you understand bondage methods.
Restraints
One of the loved techniques of bondage and discipline is restraining yourself or your partner, the use of cuffs and ropes limits motion and gives more power to the dominant. Restraints are extremely versatile and can be used in many different ways depending upon a person’s fantasy or role play preference. Bondage tape is also a part of restraints as it limits a person’s motion in a different way. This is a very flexible piece of accessory to own and loved by BDSM participants worldwide.
Bondage Submission
Most accessories, toys and equipment are used on the submissive player by a dominant one. The most popular body restraints used by dominant players are spread bar, handcuffs or arm & body restraints. Spreader bars and bed bondage restraints are favorite accessories of most submissive players in the BDSM community.
Some Helpful BDSM Tips
Safety first
The first rule everyone knows before going in is Safety. BDSM is an extremely intimate play and based on trust which is why most of the time when one says ‘stop it’ clearly means that. Forming safe words and signals, talking about the scene length and setting it up according to the fantasy with sexy clothing and BDSM toys are important. Taking necessary precautions like having the keys right next to the sub for emergencies and learning about the use of BDSM toys before jumping right in. BDSM requires a lot of dedication but the results are pleasant and sweet.
Consent
Couples participate in BDSM to either revitalize their ongoing relationships or want to experiment with something new. All the mentioned types of BDSM can be (and should be) enjoyed only with a trusted partner, the one you know will stop when asked to stop. Irrespective of the SUB/DOM relationship partners tend to have the utmost respect for their partners in bondage play. Engage in bondage with a consensual partner only.
Preferences
Communicate with your partner, find out what works for her/him and what things are they initially actually comfortable trying. Figuring out the intensity of the scene before one can prevent embarrassment and most importantly accidents because you do not want to scar your relationship (or your partner).
Trial (no error please)
Many people jump into BDSM without understanding that this required much research, read as many articles as you can (they still won’t be enough). This is one of those things that unless you try, you won’t get a clear picture of what you like and what you don’t like. Being excited about using the first-ever bondage accessory is great but knowing how to use it is key. Everything from a simple rope, eye mask, handcuffs to nipple clamps, ankle cuffs and harnesses, if not used correctly can result in harm and accidents (things you want to avoid). Be equally excited to learn the correct way to use the equipment and toys. For example, a rope tied a little too tight can cut blood flow to the specific area or a mouth gag strapped in tighter can cut your airflow. The internet is a sea of knowledge, use it.
Advantages of BDSM Relationship
1. Enhance your relationship
All the pre-planning and discussions can act as effective foreplay. Visualizing how you want the scene to be played out with a bondage partner is a big advantage BDSM couples have, this tantalizing effect is known to increase intimacy among couples leading to more trust and love.
2. Novelty
Bondage play is very different from vanilla sex. Where couples outside of the BDSM community may face infidelity issues but in this world, couples require the need and want to keep in check what their partner likes and dislikes and are emotionally available to them. Again no matter how extreme BDSM may seem to the outside world but it has proven to be a great sex play that strengthens the bond, leading to healthier relationships.
3. The Openness
Openness brought by BDSM kink encourages people to be more vocal about their feelings to live better lives with less stress, knowing what they want and going for it is the general nature of bondage players. Many studies have mentioned that bondage practice can bring people relief from monotony and anxiety. People indulging in BDSM enter in an alternate reality (so to speak) and become a completely different person while enjoying the act and switch back after to being themself. This helps to keep the everyday stress of work and lifestyle at bay as well as bring about immense sexual pleasure.
We covered everything about bondage from the basics like what is bondage to intermediate stuff like types, techniques and advanced level as a relationship. We would like to hear your views on this topic especially when it is making its way to the mainstream via web series like Sacred Games.